I don’t know when the self-esteem issues kicked in. Sometimes I wonder if we’re born with them. Though I really doubt that’s true, I do believe words spoken over a newborn spirit or a young child can impact that person’s life forever. I don’t remember any specific incidents where I was made to feel inadequate, but instead of feeling like the proverbial princess or overprotected only little girl in a house of three boys, I somehow developed the opposite persona–that of being ‘not quite good enough.’

Add to this the normal childhood woes of not measuring up to my peers (too short, too fat, not as pretty or smart, etc.) and the words ‘self-esteem’ and ‘self-value’ had no meaning in my life.

Then along came the teenage years when I grew from an insecure girl to a young woman with the dream of marriage and children. Factor into that dream low-to-no self-confidence much less self-worth, and the combination does not bode well for attracting a husband.

Attract one I did. Though I wouldn’t call him my Prince Charming.

Nine years and two babies later I found myself divorced and any trace of self-esteem in the dung heap.

At that time, I developed a motto: What you see is what you get. You like it? Good! You don’t hit the road, it’s your loss!

I must say this was out of self-preservation, not self-love. But it was a start.

Two years later friendship turned to love with the man who would become my next husband, this man and marriage almost the complete opposite from my first. Loving, kind, and lavish with praise and compliments, I felt beautiful in his eyes and my self-confidence grew. With his support and encouragement, I excelled at work, wrote romance novels, started a writers group in my area, did speaking engagements and book signings and virtually put myself out there in ways I would never have even dreamed possible before.

Alas, regardless of what one might think, self-confidence and self-esteem do not equal self-value, self-worth or self-love.

I was still very self-conscious about many things, especially my looks.  Constantly on a diet or exercise routine, I wore clothes to camouflage my round hips and curvaceous thighs and tried numerous hair styles and beauty products to add volume and shine to my less than perfect hair.  Actions meant to shore up my confidence did indeed help, but that nagging sense of ‘not quite good enough’ lingered deep in my heart, soul and subconscious. And although I felt better, I hadn’t reached the part of truly loving, appreciating and valuing myself.

Then one summer evening my support system was gone. Removed from my life forever in the span of a heartbeat and I was thrust into the world as a single woman. Widowed and alone when, despite everything I’d accomplished, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother.

They say out of our biggest tragedies come some of our greatest blessings but the prospect of getting out there and dating terrified me and the moment I stepped out into the single scene all of the old insecurities returned.

My legs are too short, hips too big and breasts too small. My hair’s too thin and flat and now it’s turning gray. I can’t compete with the young, perky, firm, beautiful women out there!

The bible teaches us that as a man thinks therefore he is (Prov. 23:7), so I dug out my old motto and started using it..... What you see is what you get. Like it? Good! Don’t? Hit the road, it’s your loss.

Only this time I took things a step further.

As a Christian I’d studied and practiced speaking God’s word over my life and knew the power of writing things down, so I started focusing on and appreciating what I liked about myself and what I was good at. I am smart. I am talented. I am gifted. I am blessed.

Then I began writing and saying affirmations about what I wanted to believe about myself. I am thin, healthy, energetic, and attractive. I look good. I feel good.

As time moved on I got bolder... I am beautiful. I am desirable. I am sexy. I am healed, whole, and complete. I am worthy. I am valuable.

Comments from friends and acquaintances about how good I looked every time they saw me helped me to believe the inner growth I’d been cultivating was actually working and worth the effort to continue.
​
Then one day I woke up and I felt these things. I felt healthy, energetic and attractive. 
​

I had an image in my mind of a particular red dress that clung in all the right places (something I never would have even considered before!). So, I went shopping. I found that dress, tried it on and the mirror reflected back to me everything I’d been affirming for years... A beautiful, sexy, desirable woman.
 
But....
​
Some of those same old thought patterns crept up and I put the dress back.

The next day my friend and I returned to the store, and I tried it on for her opinion and again was astounded at how I not only felt but looked in that dress.
​
This time I bought it.

That was ten+ years ago. I still practice positive thinking, affirmations, and self-talk and have since purchased several clingy dresses and outfits and I am constantly amazed at how differently I look at and feel about myself.  I’ve also come to understand that how the world sees me is a reflection of how I see and feel about myself. 

When those old taunts try to rise up and steal my joy, I immediately shake my head and remind myself that as I think, therefore I am.

Then I go into a litany of affirmations knowing that as I project feelings of love, appreciation, value and self-approval, others will reflect that back to me. After all, what you see (and say) is what you get!

Something to think about.
Inspirational with an Edge! ™
Coaching in PJs ™

It's been a while since I posted here, mainly because I've been traveling. The good thing about traveling, is there is time to read while waiting in airports! 

I've mentioned how much I love and appreciate Dr. Joe Dispenza's work so, since I recently re-read this book, I thought I'd share it with you.

I first read Becoming Supernatural in 2018 or 2019. Then, in a whirlwind of cleaning off bookshelves, gave the book away.

Big mistake! 

This time I purchased the Kindle version so I can read on the device or on my phone. Which makes it a whole lot easier to consume in situations like those mentioned above.

I can't even begin to tell you how much this book and the meditations within it have impacted me.

Much like the documentary, Source It is Within YOU, the Medical, Biological and Physiologocal evidence behind the meditations as well as stories of people whose lives have been totally transformed by doing this work is amazing! 

I haven't had any mystical or 'supernatural' experiences from doing Dr. Joe's meditations. Yet. But I can tell you with continued practice my life feels more orderly, more coherent.

If you're looking to change anything about your life, (health, wealth, emotional or physical wellbeing), check out Becoming Supernatural or any other books and meditations by Dr. Joe and let me know what you think.

To listen to some of the testimonials to the validity of Dr. Joe's work, check out Stories of Transformation on his website or YouTube Channel. If you visit YouTube, check out the many interviews with Dr. Joe too.

That's all for now folks!

Until next time, keep reading, learning, growing.
PamT
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
"Coaching in PJs" ​™

If you'd like to follow my travels, check out my travel blog, Bathroom-Blues.

*Links to the Source film in this post are affiiliate links through which I will receive receive a commission on qualifying purchases.*

​*As an Amazon Associate I earn from Qualifying Purchases*

Jeremiah 33:3: ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and might things, which you do not know.’
 
This scripture has floated around in my head for weeks and I’ve come to realize when a certain thought is repeated, whether in my mind or in conversation, I need to pay attention.
 
So, I’ve questioned and prayed…What are You trying to tell me, Lord, that I may share with the world?
 
So often we think of God answering our prayers in the form of words…a still, small, voice, billboard signs, songs, books, scripture, etc. But do we consider the many ways in which He communicates with us?
 
The Bible says in Job, “For God does speak, perhaps once, or even twice, though one perceive it not. In a dream, in a vision of the night (when deep sleep falls upon men) as they slumber in their beds.” Job 33:14-15
 
It also tells us in the book of Joel 2:28: “And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions;”
 
Scriptures like these sometimes scare the daylights out of people.
 
But they shouldn’t.
 
God is awesome and loving, and we should not be afraid of the ways in which He converses with us.
 
In the spiritual books I’ve read and studied, another way we can perceive what God is trying to say to us is through our imagination.
 
Have you ever wondered why some folks can dream or imagine a particular thing or outcome and it seems to come true?
 
That’s faith. That’s God operating in and through us.
 
1 Corinthians 2:9 tells us: But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
 
Spiritual leaders & success teachers use daydreaming, meditation, and visualization as tools to achieving one’s goals in life. They tell us to “see” ourselves in the situation we desire. To engage all of our senses, and to “feel” it with every fiber of our being and those things will manifest in our lives. They even say that these things are more powerful if what we desire is born of love and brings only joy, peace and abundance to us and others.
 
Could it be they’re on to something? Is it possible God is using the faculties of our conscious and subconscious mind to talk with us and to show us the great and mighty things He has prepared for us?
 
Next time your imagination comes up with some wild, exhilarating, ‘impossible’ idea for your happiness, don’t be so quick to discount it.
 
Instead, get quiet and alone with God and ask HIM if this is His idea for you? Trust Him (and me), if it is for your ultimate good and the good of your brother and/or mankind as a whole, it very well could be.
 
Something to think about…
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
Coaching in PJs ™

*Originally published as Pamela's Ponderings ©Jan 2014

Hebrews 11:11 tells us that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
 
So many times we wonder what that means and to be honest, depending on how you look at it, and where you put a comma, it could mean different things.

For me, this verse alludes to so much more than the typical platitudes given in explanation from many. As you may know, I’ve been on a spiritual journey most of my adult life and read voraciously books written by today’s spiritual leaders and this particular verse magnifies what many of them say regarding spiritual principles, living in the present moment, and the law of attraction.

Now some ridicule and judge me for doing so, stating that the ONLY books we should read are the Bible and those written by Pastors and Ministers.

Seriously?

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE God’s word and do my best to glean meaning and depth from every book I read, especially the Bible. In fact, I have several translations I value. But, think about it!

Even Bible-toting, Scripture-quoting Christians spend more time looking back on the past with shame, guilt or regret and/or worrying about the future with fear and trembling. But this is not what spiritual leaders nor God teach us.

We are taught that yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t here, so we should appreciate the gift of today.

The Bible says we should “forget those things which are behind and reach forward to those things which are ahead” (Philippians 3:12).

Spiritual leaders teach us to live in the present (now) and to visualize (see) the future as we would like (hope) to create it. The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on, you attract into your life.

Read the Scripture again….Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

How much more convincing do we need to consider the Law of Attraction might actually be another term for Faith in Action?

I’m not here to convince you that my way is the only way or that I’m right and you’re wrong in your way of thinking. I only hope these words will encourage you to open your mind and heart to what deeper meanings lie in the Scriptures we love so much.
 
Something to think about….
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

I’ve had this conversation with others many times and it’s frustrating when some just don’t get it!

What you don’t control, controls you…

Don’t control your flesh, you are constantly at its beck and call to do things you know you shouldn’t do… Over indulge on food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, shopping, or other unhealthy habits. Or on the flip side of the coin—starve yourself, binge and purge, exercise excessively, pinch pennies so tight you have no enjoyment in the fruits of your labor.

Don’t control your thoughts; you are planting a harvest of similar circumstances you will reap in the future. You can’t have a positive life with a negative attitude.

Don’t control your mouth; you’re sowing seeds of discord and destruction (see statement above about attitude).

Don’t control your emotions; you will constantly be on a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs based on your circumstances. Happy when everything is going your way, moody and irritable when they are not. Allowing others’ emotional drama affect you and jerk you around.

Don’t control your money, you’ll constantly be chasing a dollar, always be a day late and a dollar short or never have two nickels to rub together.

Any of this sound familiar?

The Bible teaches us in Galatians 5:22-24 (NKJV)… “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

2 Peter 1:5-7 (NKJV) exhorts… “But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.”

And, Titus 1:7-9 (NKJV) insists that, “For a bishop must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.”  The footnote for this scripture says that “bishop” literally means overseer, but aren’t we all kings and priests? (Rev. 1:6 & 5:10).

Now that I’ve gotten your attention, or stuck my nose right in the middle of your mess, please allow me to share some insight with you on how you can change all of those “out of control” things in your life.

#1: Get clear about what you want (or don’t want)! Sit down with a pen and paper and make a list. Ask yourself, ask your SOUL… “What is wrong in my life?” Or, better yet… “Why am I not happy?” Then write down the answers. Don’t just put ‘everything’, get downright honest with yourself and be specific.

Many folks don’t realize the absolute power in writing things down. When you ponder your life, your mind will keep going in circles…. Criticizing and explaining (or making excuses) until you are mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted with no answers.

#2: Ask yourself… “What would make me happy?” Again, get clear and be specific. Don’t discount anything that comes to your mind. Don’t decipher the answers. Don’t scratch anything off that list.

Now is the time to get completely, even brutally honest with yourself and remember, this is between your soul and God so don’t feel any answer to either question is stupid or insignificant!

Give yourself as long as you need to answer these two questions….a few days, a week maybe, then put them away for a day or two and look at them again. Add anything else that comes to mind. Again do not decipher or delete.

Now that you are clear, ask God to show you how to make the necessary changes in your life. Write down what He shows or tells you. As with the answers to the first two questions, don’t discount anything.

I know sometimes those answers may appear crazy or impossible, but remember, nothing is impossible to him that believes… AND… with God all things are possible.

#3: Take action. Start with one area/answer at a time (more than 1 is ok as long as you don’t get overwhelmed). Read books, listen to CD’s, write affirmations, make (and follow) a budget or financial plan, exercise and eat right, keep a journal (or several), create a vision board (or several), pray and meditate. All of these activities are proven methods of taking control, taking back your power, and healing your life.
Some people won’t do this because it appears too easy (or too hard), but trust me, if you take the time to get clear about your life then follow through and stick with the plan(s) God gives to you, your heart, mind, soul, and spirit, and, oh yeah, your future will thank you.

Added bonus: All the people in your life will thank you too!

Something to think about…..                                         
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

Some Resources: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life & There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Dr. Wayne Dyer, A Return to Love & The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, Real Health, Real Life by Jillian Lambert, The Secret & The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey, I Declare by Joel Osteen, Battlefield of the Mind & Change Your Words, Change Your Life: Understanding the Power of Every Word You Speak by Joyce Meyer, Open Your Mind to Receive & The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder, any/everything by any or all of these authors as well as others mentioned on this blog.

*Originally published as Pamela's Ponderings © Sept. 2013