I don’t know when the self-esteem issues kicked in. Sometimes I wonder if we’re born with them. Though I really doubt that’s true, I do believe words spoken over a newborn spirit or a young child can impact that person’s life forever. I don’t remember any specific incidents where I was made to feel inadequate, but instead of feeling like the proverbial princess or overprotected only little girl in a house of three boys, I somehow developed the opposite persona–that of being ‘not quite good enough.’

Add to this the normal childhood woes of not measuring up to my peers (too short, too fat, not as pretty or smart, etc.) and the words ‘self-esteem’ and ‘self-value’ had no meaning in my life.

Then along came the teenage years when I grew from an insecure girl to a young woman with the dream of marriage and children. Factor into that dream low-to-no self-confidence much less self-worth, and the combination does not bode well for attracting a husband.

Attract one I did. Though I wouldn’t call him my Prince Charming.

Nine years and two babies later I found myself divorced and any trace of self-esteem in the dung heap.

At that time, I developed a motto: What you see is what you get. You like it? Good! You don’t hit the road, it’s your loss!

I must say this was out of self-preservation, not self-love. But it was a start.

Two years later friendship turned to love with the man who would become my next husband, this man and marriage almost the complete opposite from my first. Loving, kind, and lavish with praise and compliments, I felt beautiful in his eyes and my self-confidence grew. With his support and encouragement, I excelled at work, wrote romance novels, started a writers group in my area, did speaking engagements and book signings and virtually put myself out there in ways I would never have even dreamed possible before.

Alas, regardless of what one might think, self-confidence and self-esteem do not equal self-value, self-worth or self-love.

I was still very self-conscious about many things, especially my looks.  Constantly on a diet or exercise routine, I wore clothes to camouflage my round hips and curvaceous thighs and tried numerous hair styles and beauty products to add volume and shine to my less than perfect hair.  Actions meant to shore up my confidence did indeed help, but that nagging sense of ‘not quite good enough’ lingered deep in my heart, soul and subconscious. And although I felt better, I hadn’t reached the part of truly loving, appreciating and valuing myself.

Then one summer evening my support system was gone. Removed from my life forever in the span of a heartbeat and I was thrust into the world as a single woman. Widowed and alone when, despite everything I’d accomplished, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother.

They say out of our biggest tragedies come some of our greatest blessings but the prospect of getting out there and dating terrified me and the moment I stepped out into the single scene all of the old insecurities returned.

My legs are too short, hips too big and breasts too small. My hair’s too thin and flat and now it’s turning gray. I can’t compete with the young, perky, firm, beautiful women out there!

The bible teaches us that as a man thinks therefore he is (Prov. 23:7), so I dug out my old motto and started using it..... What you see is what you get. Like it? Good! Don’t? Hit the road, it’s your loss.

Only this time I took things a step further.

As a Christian I’d studied and practiced speaking God’s word over my life and knew the power of writing things down, so I started focusing on and appreciating what I liked about myself and what I was good at. I am smart. I am talented. I am gifted. I am blessed.

Then I began writing and saying affirmations about what I wanted to believe about myself. I am thin, healthy, energetic, and attractive. I look good. I feel good.

As time moved on I got bolder... I am beautiful. I am desirable. I am sexy. I am healed, whole, and complete. I am worthy. I am valuable.

Comments from friends and acquaintances about how good I looked every time they saw me helped me to believe the inner growth I’d been cultivating was actually working and worth the effort to continue.
​
Then one day I woke up and I felt these things. I felt healthy, energetic and attractive. 
​

I had an image in my mind of a particular red dress that clung in all the right places (something I never would have even considered before!). So, I went shopping. I found that dress, tried it on and the mirror reflected back to me everything I’d been affirming for years... A beautiful, sexy, desirable woman.
 
But....
​
Some of those same old thought patterns crept up and I put the dress back.

The next day my friend and I returned to the store, and I tried it on for her opinion and again was astounded at how I not only felt but looked in that dress.
​
This time I bought it.

That was ten+ years ago. I still practice positive thinking, affirmations, and self-talk and have since purchased several clingy dresses and outfits and I am constantly amazed at how differently I look at and feel about myself.  I’ve also come to understand that how the world sees me is a reflection of how I see and feel about myself. 

When those old taunts try to rise up and steal my joy, I immediately shake my head and remind myself that as I think, therefore I am.

Then I go into a litany of affirmations knowing that as I project feelings of love, appreciation, value and self-approval, others will reflect that back to me. After all, what you see (and say) is what you get!

Something to think about.
Inspirational with an Edge! ™
Coaching in PJs ™

While listening, well watching actually, a video on YouTube with Jack Canfield, he made a comment that resonated with me – he said he loved the word discovering because it meant “uncovering.”  Think about it dis (un) – cover

Isn’t that what we do when we discover or realize a spiritual truth? When we have one of those “Ah ha” moments or an epiphany?

In my devotional, Love is a Rose, I reveal how God spoke to me or brought to my mind, scriptures that supplanted or explained each verse of the song.

Even in books like The Secret that seemingly deal with “new age woo-woo stuff,” we can find spiritual truth.

How do I know this?

Because I discover these truths every day of my life in some of the most extraordinary ways!

Look back at some of my posts and you’ll see I’ve discovered a spiritual truth or evidence in rocks, horseshoes, potatoes…. More recently, check out the review I did on the movie, Frozen​, and you’ll see I’ve even discovered spiritual truths in a Disney film.

A song, a book, a billboard sign, a gut feeling or a comment by a friend or virtual stranger …these are all ways in which God reveals His truth to us. Even a comment we make to someone sometimes resonates with us on a deeper level or answers a question we’ve been asking ourselves for ages!

Of course, the bible is the best and most popular source of spiritual truth, but if God is spirit (as Jesus said He is), and is omnipresent (which means He is in every thing and is everywhere) isn’t it safe to say He can communicate to us in a myriad of ways?

I think so, we just need to be open and receptive and not discount what we intuitively know is God communicating to and through us.
 
Something to think about….
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
"Coaching in PJs" ™

*©2014 Previously published in Pamela's Ponderings 

Love is a Rose is available for Kindle, in Print and Audio through Amazon/Audible. The eBook is available for KoBo and other online retailers HERE.

You may think the title of this particular post is a bit strange but bear with me...

Years ago, a decade actually, I watched the movie Frozen with my grandchildren and I was blown away that a Disney film could contain spiritual thruths!

I'm sure there are many other Disney films that contain spiritual truths, but with Winter and Christmas approaching, I thought I'd republish the review I wrote back in 2014 here, so you can see where I'm coming from and why this children's film inspired me so much.... 

“Only an act of true love can melt a frozen heart.”

How true this statement is!

Elsa has a gift, one that when activated, shoots ice from her hands and causes things to freeze over. After an accident in which her young sister gets injured, Elsa is confined to her bedroom with gloves. 

​"Don’t feel, don’t let your emotions show, don’t let them know” is the edict that keeps her bound, much to the dismay of young Anna. Until Coronation Day when Elsa is crowned Queen of Arendelle and fun-loving Anna unintentionally creates havoc which results in Elsa freezing the country in perpetual winter.
​
I haven’t been to a movie theater in years much less to see a Disney production but the spiritual implications of this movie were so wonderful!

The fact that Elsa is persuaded, forced in fact, to stuff her emotions is a prime example of the way many people live. Don’t feel, conceal. Don’t let your emotions show. Always be good. Control them otherwise they’ll control you….

Unfortunately we all reach a breaking point and who knows what the trigger might be? The only thing we know for sure is that anger and fear produce destruction.

But love…true love…love that forgives and sacrifices…has the ability to create miracles and magic.

Even if you don’t have children or grandchildren, borrow a couple of kids if you must, but watch this/these movie(s). You won’t be disappointed. 

And if you DO have children on your Christmas list, check out the many, many FROZEN items available including toys, books, dolls, and even a Collectors Item DVD.

I hope this post inspired you as much as it has me (I think I'll rewatch Frozen LOL!).

Until next time, take care and God Bless.
PamT
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™​

*Originally published as Pamela's Ponderings ©Feb 2014

As I’ve mentioned before I’ve been on a spiritual quest for most of my adult life. In 1989 I recommitted my life to Christ and since that moment have been asking, knocking and seeking, in all manner of ways, to know and experience more of Him.

Some may ask what He means to me and the long & short answer is: EVERYTHING.

How can I describe that which is indescribable?

Now many will look at some of the books and spiritual leaders I refer to and say that I’m not “Christ centered” or that I don’t have the “love of Christ” within me.

That both saddens and infuriates me.

Jesus said, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” So I challenge anyone to really look into my heart and tell me that!

True, I do read books other than the Bible and those written by ordained ministers.

Why?

Because I never want to miss a fresh anointing on the Word!

Yeah, but what about those ‘new age’ books like Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life & There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Dr. Wayne Dyer, A Return to Love & The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson, The Secret & The Magic by Rhonda Byrne and other such works by people I admire?

I can only speak for myself but it is all part of my soul journey.

What? What?

A soul journey?

Yeah.

I believe we are all here for a reason and one of main purposes is to not only learn how to live as Christ but, like Him, to be an expression of God’s goodness in the earth. Each of those books mentioned, and numerous not mentioned, have opened my heart and mind to understanding God and even scripture in a deeper way.

In the book E-squared by Pam Grout, she covered the subject of God/Jesus and mentioned that Jesus never said, “worship me” but “follow me” and there’s a huge difference in the two statements.

This made me wonder so I did a bible search on the phrase “worship me” and you know what?

She was right!

Only 4 Scriptures showed up with that phrase, 2 referred to Jesus being tempted during His 40 days in the desert (Matthew 4:9 & Luke 4:7) and the other two referred to worshipping Him in vain by “teaching for doctrine the commandments of men.” (Matthew 15:9 & Mark 7:7).

These, in turn, led to the question of how much of what our preachers, teachers and ministers of “Christianity” tell us are actually just that… the teaching for doctrine the commandments of men.

Which do you think God/Jesus prefers…someone who adheres to the doctrines of men (even if they are biblically based) OR someone who loves Him and seeks Him with their whole heart, mind, & soul, regardless of the books they read?

After all, Jesus did say that God is “spirit” and those who worship Him will worship in spirit and in truth, and let’s face it, not everything we see and/or hear in conjunction with “Christianity” is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…Nor the only truth.

JMHO of course.

Something to think about….
​
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

*Originally published as Pamela's Ponderings ©Feb 2014