I don’t know when the self-esteem issues kicked in. Sometimes I wonder if we’re born with them. Though I really doubt that’s true, I do believe words spoken over a newborn spirit or a young child can impact that person’s life forever. I don’t remember any specific incidents where I was made to feel inadequate, but instead of feeling like the proverbial princess or overprotected only little girl in a house of three boys, I somehow developed the opposite persona–that of being ‘not quite good enough.’

Add to this the normal childhood woes of not measuring up to my peers (too short, too fat, not as pretty or smart, etc.) and the words ‘self-esteem’ and ‘self-value’ had no meaning in my life.

Then along came the teenage years when I grew from an insecure girl to a young woman with the dream of marriage and children. Factor into that dream low-to-no self-confidence much less self-worth, and the combination does not bode well for attracting a husband.

Attract one I did. Though I wouldn’t call him my Prince Charming.

Nine years and two babies later I found myself divorced and any trace of self-esteem in the dung heap.

At that time, I developed a motto: What you see is what you get. You like it? Good! You don’t hit the road, it’s your loss!

I must say this was out of self-preservation, not self-love. But it was a start.

Two years later friendship turned to love with the man who would become my next husband, this man and marriage almost the complete opposite from my first. Loving, kind, and lavish with praise and compliments, I felt beautiful in his eyes and my self-confidence grew. With his support and encouragement, I excelled at work, wrote romance novels, started a writers group in my area, did speaking engagements and book signings and virtually put myself out there in ways I would never have even dreamed possible before.

Alas, regardless of what one might think, self-confidence and self-esteem do not equal self-value, self-worth or self-love.

I was still very self-conscious about many things, especially my looks.  Constantly on a diet or exercise routine, I wore clothes to camouflage my round hips and curvaceous thighs and tried numerous hair styles and beauty products to add volume and shine to my less than perfect hair.  Actions meant to shore up my confidence did indeed help, but that nagging sense of ‘not quite good enough’ lingered deep in my heart, soul and subconscious. And although I felt better, I hadn’t reached the part of truly loving, appreciating and valuing myself.

Then one summer evening my support system was gone. Removed from my life forever in the span of a heartbeat and I was thrust into the world as a single woman. Widowed and alone when, despite everything I’d accomplished, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother.

They say out of our biggest tragedies come some of our greatest blessings but the prospect of getting out there and dating terrified me and the moment I stepped out into the single scene all of the old insecurities returned.

My legs are too short, hips too big and breasts too small. My hair’s too thin and flat and now it’s turning gray. I can’t compete with the young, perky, firm, beautiful women out there!

The bible teaches us that as a man thinks therefore he is (Prov. 23:7), so I dug out my old motto and started using it..... What you see is what you get. Like it? Good! Don’t? Hit the road, it’s your loss.

Only this time I took things a step further.

As a Christian I’d studied and practiced speaking God’s word over my life and knew the power of writing things down, so I started focusing on and appreciating what I liked about myself and what I was good at. I am smart. I am talented. I am gifted. I am blessed.

Then I began writing and saying affirmations about what I wanted to believe about myself. I am thin, healthy, energetic, and attractive. I look good. I feel good.

As time moved on I got bolder... I am beautiful. I am desirable. I am sexy. I am healed, whole, and complete. I am worthy. I am valuable.

Comments from friends and acquaintances about how good I looked every time they saw me helped me to believe the inner growth I’d been cultivating was actually working and worth the effort to continue.
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Then one day I woke up and I felt these things. I felt healthy, energetic and attractive. 
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I had an image in my mind of a particular red dress that clung in all the right places (something I never would have even considered before!). So, I went shopping. I found that dress, tried it on and the mirror reflected back to me everything I’d been affirming for years... A beautiful, sexy, desirable woman.
 
But....
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Some of those same old thought patterns crept up and I put the dress back.

The next day my friend and I returned to the store, and I tried it on for her opinion and again was astounded at how I not only felt but looked in that dress.
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This time I bought it.

That was ten+ years ago. I still practice positive thinking, affirmations, and self-talk and have since purchased several clingy dresses and outfits and I am constantly amazed at how differently I look at and feel about myself.  I’ve also come to understand that how the world sees me is a reflection of how I see and feel about myself. 

When those old taunts try to rise up and steal my joy, I immediately shake my head and remind myself that as I think, therefore I am.

Then I go into a litany of affirmations knowing that as I project feelings of love, appreciation, value and self-approval, others will reflect that back to me. After all, what you see (and say) is what you get!

Something to think about.
Inspirational with an Edge! ™
Coaching in PJs ™

As you know I am a firm believer in the body to heal itself. I love energy medicine, spiritual work, meditation, etc. On top of that, I am a science nerd. I love learning how the brain works, how consciousness works, what the different parts of the brain are and how they function. 

You've seen my posts on Bliss Brain and Whole Brain Living and on Dr. Joe Dispensa's documentary, SOURCE It is Within You.

Today let me tell you about HEAL.

Kelly Noonan Gores directed this beautiful documentary on the mind/body/spirit/energetic connection and how healing can occur.

Our body is a self-sustaining, self-correcting, magnificent creation especially when we get out of its way.

How do we do this? By healing/changing our thoughts and emotions from lack and limitation, illness and disease to empowerment, knowledge, positivity, peace and the truth of who we really are and the power that lies within each of us.

I'm not going to naively sit here and tell you it's easy. But neither is it impossible.

Even Jesus said, "all things are possible to them that believe."

I Believe, Lord. I Believe.

I hope you enjoyed today's post and that you'll check out HEAL. Watch the trailer HERE.

​Also, you can get 20% off Dr. Joe Dispenza's documentary, Source It is Within You documentary through December 31st using the code: Source_Giving. 

Until next time, take care and God Bless.
PamT

Happy Thanksgiving Folks!
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Jesus teaches us that with God ALL things are possible and that all things are possible to them that believe (See Matthew 19:25-27, Mark 9:22-24, Mark 10:26-28).
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Psalm 23 says, “The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want.”

Why then do some things we desire, need or want seem impossible?

Is it possible this is because we block God’s blessings and talk ourselves out of miracles every day?

Is it possible we have deep-seated doubts and fears and feelings of unworthiness?

Is it possible the fire and brimstone preaching we’ve heard or experienced sometime in our life has caused us to fear God’s wrath more than believe in His love, grace, mercy and goodness?

Is it possible that we have so much guilt around asking God for what we truly desire that, even if He were to show up with that in hand as a free gift to us, we’d turn away?

Is it possible we’ve heard so many contradicting facts about who God is and what He can/will do that we just don’t know what to think anymore?

The Bible teaches us that the blessings of God shall chase us down and overtake us (see Deuteronomy 28:1-3), yet so many live in lack and poverty, sickness and disease!

Is it truly possible that if God said it and Jesus did it, we are supposed to live lives of abundance in every area?

I believe ALL of these explanations are possible and very possibly the root of our not receiving the gifts and blessings God has for us.

So how can we overcome these doubts, fears and negative concepts we’ve developed in our lives for whatever reason and open up to receive from God?

Here are a few ideas…

Pray. Don’t just pray for what you want, pray for God to open your eyes, ears, heart and hands so that you may see, hear, know and receive.

Listen. Often we pray/talk to God without taking time to listen for His response. Prayer should be a two-way conversation, not you talking to then walking away from Him.

Obey. Many times, we pray and listen but when God asks us to take action we disregard that part of the entire time of communion. The Bible teaches us we should be willing and obedient yet most of the time we are willing but not obedient or vice-versa. If you feel in your heart God is asking you to take some kind of action in order for Him to fulfill your desires and His plan, take it! Even if that means stepping out in faith despite your doubts and fears.

Meditate. A lot of folks shrink at the thought of spending time in meditation thinking they just don’t have hours to spare, but meditation can be as simple as closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths while opening your mind and heart to the Holy Spirit. Better yet, pick a Scripture that deals with one of the current situations or needs in your life and repeat it over and over in your mind while taking those deep breaths and watch God work.

Express Gratitude. I know, I know you are grateful but how often do you say it? How often do you say a simple “Thank You” to God or to people? Better yet, how often do you spend 10 minutes, an hour, or a whole day in an attitude of gratitude? Try this: For one hour write, “I am so happy and grateful that (or for) ---fill in the blank). If you don’t have an hour, write 1 page a day or 10 items or whatever, just do it! Once you’ve gotten into this habit, challenge yourself to keep gratitude uppermost in your mind for the day and see what doors open for you. After all, God’s not going to give you something else to complain about.

Sing. Yeah you heard that right. Sing a song about being happy. Find a couple songs and play them over and over in your vehicle and in your mind. Here are two that come to mind: Happiest Girl in the Whole USA by Donna Fargo, or Happy by Pharrell Williams (here’s the song/video on Youtube!) I dare you to listen to this and not be in a better mood! Better yet, make up a silly little ditty to express your own happiness, gratitude and praise to God. After all, the Bible tells us to make a “joyful noise” unto the Lord (Psalms 66, 81, 95, 98 & 100) and that God inhabits the praise of His people.

Try one (or all) of these simple exercises and see God work in your life. Now I’m not saying this is the cure-all for every problem in your life, but even if all these exercises do is make YOU feel better for an hour or a day…what can it hurt?

Something to think about...
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
"Coaching in PJs" ™

*©2014 Previously published as Pamela's Ponderings April 2014

It's been a while since I posted here, mainly because I've been traveling. The good thing about traveling, is there is time to read while waiting in airports! 

I've mentioned how much I love and appreciate Dr. Joe Dispenza's work so, since I recently re-read this book, I thought I'd share it with you.

I first read Becoming Supernatural in 2018 or 2019. Then, in a whirlwind of cleaning off bookshelves, gave the book away.

Big mistake! 

This time I purchased the Kindle version so I can read on the device or on my phone. Which makes it a whole lot easier to consume in situations like those mentioned above.

I can't even begin to tell you how much this book and the meditations within it have impacted me.

Much like the documentary, Source It is Within YOU, the Medical, Biological and Physiologocal evidence behind the meditations as well as stories of people whose lives have been totally transformed by doing this work is amazing! 

I haven't had any mystical or 'supernatural' experiences from doing Dr. Joe's meditations. Yet. But I can tell you with continued practice my life feels more orderly, more coherent.

If you're looking to change anything about your life, (health, wealth, emotional or physical wellbeing), check out Becoming Supernatural or any other books and meditations by Dr. Joe and let me know what you think.

To listen to some of the testimonials to the validity of Dr. Joe's work, check out Stories of Transformation on his website or YouTube Channel. If you visit YouTube, check out the many interviews with Dr. Joe too.

That's all for now folks!

Until next time, keep reading, learning, growing.
PamT
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
"Coaching in PJs" ​™

If you'd like to follow my travels, check out my travel blog, Bathroom-Blues.

*Links to the Source film in this post are affiiliate links through which I will receive receive a commission on qualifying purchases.*

​*As an Amazon Associate I earn from Qualifying Purchases*

As I’ve mentioned before I’ve been on a spiritual quest for most of my adult life. In 1989 I recommitted my life to Christ and since that moment have been asking, knocking and seeking, in all manner of ways, to know and experience more of Him.

Some may ask what He means to me and the long & short answer is: EVERYTHING.

How can I describe that which is indescribable?

Now many will look at some of the books and spiritual leaders I refer to and say that I’m not “Christ centered” or that I don’t have the “love of Christ” within me.

That both saddens and infuriates me.

Jesus said, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” So I challenge anyone to really look into my heart and tell me that!

True, I do read books other than the Bible and those written by ordained ministers.

Why?

Because I never want to miss a fresh anointing on the Word!

Yeah, but what about those ‘new age’ books like Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life & There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Dr. Wayne Dyer, A Return to Love & The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson, The Secret & The Magic by Rhonda Byrne and other such works by people I admire?

I can only speak for myself but it is all part of my soul journey.

What? What?

A soul journey?

Yeah.

I believe we are all here for a reason and one of main purposes is to not only learn how to live as Christ but, like Him, to be an expression of God’s goodness in the earth. Each of those books mentioned, and numerous not mentioned, have opened my heart and mind to understanding God and even scripture in a deeper way.

In the book E-squared by Pam Grout, she covered the subject of God/Jesus and mentioned that Jesus never said, “worship me” but “follow me” and there’s a huge difference in the two statements.

This made me wonder so I did a bible search on the phrase “worship me” and you know what?

She was right!

Only 4 Scriptures showed up with that phrase, 2 referred to Jesus being tempted during His 40 days in the desert (Matthew 4:9 & Luke 4:7) and the other two referred to worshipping Him in vain by “teaching for doctrine the commandments of men.” (Matthew 15:9 & Mark 7:7).

These, in turn, led to the question of how much of what our preachers, teachers and ministers of “Christianity” tell us are actually just that… the teaching for doctrine the commandments of men.

Which do you think God/Jesus prefers…someone who adheres to the doctrines of men (even if they are biblically based) OR someone who loves Him and seeks Him with their whole heart, mind, & soul, regardless of the books they read?

After all, Jesus did say that God is “spirit” and those who worship Him will worship in spirit and in truth, and let’s face it, not everything we see and/or hear in conjunction with “Christianity” is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…Nor the only truth.

JMHO of course.

Something to think about….
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“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

*Originally published as Pamela's Ponderings ©Feb 2014