I’ve had this conversation with others many times and it’s frustrating when some just don’t get it!

What you don’t control, controls you…

Don’t control your flesh, you are constantly at its beck and call to do things you know you shouldn’t do… Over indulge on food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, shopping, or other unhealthy habits. Or on the flip side of the coin—starve yourself, binge and purge, exercise excessively, pinch pennies so tight you have no enjoyment in the fruits of your labor.

Don’t control your thoughts; you are planting a harvest of similar circumstances you will reap in the future. You can’t have a positive life with a negative attitude.

Don’t control your mouth; you’re sowing seeds of discord and destruction (see statement above about attitude).

Don’t control your emotions; you will constantly be on a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs based on your circumstances. Happy when everything is going your way, moody and irritable when they are not. Allowing others’ emotional drama affect you and jerk you around.

Don’t control your money, you’ll constantly be chasing a dollar, always be a day late and a dollar short or never have two nickels to rub together.

Any of this sound familiar?

The Bible teaches us in Galatians 5:22-24 (NKJV)… “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

2 Peter 1:5-7 (NKJV) exhorts… “But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.”

And, Titus 1:7-9 (NKJV) insists that, “For a bishop must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.”  The footnote for this scripture says that “bishop” literally means overseer, but aren’t we all kings and priests? (Rev. 1:6 & 5:10).

Now that I’ve gotten your attention, or stuck my nose right in the middle of your mess, please allow me to share some insight with you on how you can change all of those “out of control” things in your life.

#1: Get clear about what you want (or don’t want)! Sit down with a pen and paper and make a list. Ask yourself, ask your SOUL… “What is wrong in my life?” Or, better yet… “Why am I not happy?” Then write down the answers. Don’t just put ‘everything’, get downright honest with yourself and be specific.

Many folks don’t realize the absolute power in writing things down. When you ponder your life, your mind will keep going in circles…. Criticizing and explaining (or making excuses) until you are mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted with no answers.

#2: Ask yourself… “What would make me happy?” Again, get clear and be specific. Don’t discount anything that comes to your mind. Don’t decipher the answers. Don’t scratch anything off that list.

Now is the time to get completely, even brutally honest with yourself and remember, this is between your soul and God so don’t feel any answer to either question is stupid or insignificant!

Give yourself as long as you need to answer these two questions….a few days, a week maybe, then put them away for a day or two and look at them again. Add anything else that comes to mind. Again do not decipher or delete.

Now that you are clear, ask God to show you how to make the necessary changes in your life. Write down what He shows or tells you. As with the answers to the first two questions, don’t discount anything.

I know sometimes those answers may appear crazy or impossible, but remember, nothing is impossible to him that believes… AND… with God all things are possible.

#3: Take action. Start with one area/answer at a time (more than 1 is ok as long as you don’t get overwhelmed). Read books, listen to CD’s, write affirmations, make (and follow) a budget or financial plan, exercise and eat right, keep a journal (or several), create a vision board (or several), pray and meditate. All of these activities are proven methods of taking control, taking back your power, and healing your life.
Some people won’t do this because it appears too easy (or too hard), but trust me, if you take the time to get clear about your life then follow through and stick with the plan(s) God gives to you, your heart, mind, soul, and spirit, and, oh yeah, your future will thank you.

Added bonus: All the people in your life will thank you too!

Something to think about…..                                         
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

Some Resources: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life & There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Dr. Wayne Dyer, A Return to Love & The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, Real Health, Real Life by Jillian Lambert, The Secret & The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey, I Declare by Joel Osteen, Battlefield of the Mind & Change Your Words, Change Your Life: Understanding the Power of Every Word You Speak by Joyce Meyer, Open Your Mind to Receive & The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder, any/everything by any or all of these authors as well as others mentioned on this blog.

*Originally published as Pamela's Ponderings © Sept. 2013

I have no idea how Ms. Madsen knew I LOVE these types of books or what made her reach out to me but I am so glad she did!

I was offered a pdf in return for an honest review and since I've never read anything by this author I jumped at the opportunity.

Nugget: When you can be present with the emotions you feel at any given moment, you have true freedom to choose how to respond.

Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization, Breathwork, EFT, this book has it ALL. Ms. Madsen goes into great detail on how to uncover hidden limiting beliefs, energy thieves/blocks, self-love and compassion, and so much more!

Nugget: Personal accountability actually strengthens self-compassion.

Whether you're new on the Self-Help/Personal Development journey or a voracious connoisseur of this type of information (like me), How to do the Inner Work is a wonderful tool to have in your go-to collection of books to read over and over again.

Nugget: Doing the Inner Work begins with Self Awareness; paying attention and listening to yourself. 

Completing the exercises at the end of each section in every chapter will ensure growth and change for your highest good.

Nugget: Self-inquiry and curiosity about our reactions and emotional triggers is an important part of the inner work.

 I highly recommend How to do the Inner Work to anyone on a Personal Develolpment/Self-Help journey.

I hope you'll check it out.

Until next time, keep on keeping on.
PamT