3 Business Coaching Tips That Changed Everything for My ADHD Clients 

Hi there! I’m Shelby, a hairdresser turned freelance writer turned business coach. I also have ADHD, but it wasn’t until my late 20s that I was finally diagnosed and some of my lifelong struggles started to finally make sense.
 
That diagnosis drove me to learn more about ADHD brains and what I could do to build a freelance business that works with me, not against me. Now, I coach new and aspiring freelancers on stepping in self-love and pursuing the work they’ve always dreamed of.
 
But it wasn’t always fun or easy! In fact, back at the very beginning, I paused my freelance dreams for an entire year because I couldn’t handle the thought of hearing “no” from potential clients.
 
When I finally discovered I had Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria— a real neurological difference common in people with ADHD— everything clicked into place. The shame I'd been carrying for years suddenly had a name.
 
And more importantly, a solution!
 
That's when I started training to become a coach other ADHD entrepreneurs. Because for many ADHD brains like mine, all the mindset work in the world won't help if you're fighting against your own biochemistry.
 
Today, I'm sharing three coaching tips that have transformed how my clients approach their businesses. These are practical, neurologically-informed approaches that are proven to work for ADHD brains, soul-led creatives, and anyone who might describe themselves as “sensitive.”
 
Tip #1: Start Small to Create Momentum If you’re anything like me, trying to start each day by tackling the hardest task is a sure path to procrastination. Turns out, there’s a neurological reason for that.
 
The gist is, people with ADHD produce less dopamine, a hormone produced by the brain. It’s known as the “feel-good” hormone because it’s tied to motivation and the joy of finishing tasks.
 
Since we have less of it, the best thing you can do is to start your day with something you know you can accomplish. Answer three emails. Organize your desktop. Make that quick phone call you've been putting off!
 
That small win gives you momentum. It provides your system with just enough dopamine to tackle the bigger task.
 
One more secret: save 1-2 smaller wins for after the big thing as a treat to look forward to. You'll be amazed how much faster you finish when there's something enjoyable waiting on the other side!
 
Tip #2: Mindset + Exposure = Lasting Change I work with a lot of people who've done so much powerful mindset work. They've journaled,  internalized the affirmations, and reframed their limiting beliefs.
 
And yet… they're still frozen when it's time to take action.
 
One of the biggest things I've learned as both an ADHD coach for freelance writers and someone who's been there myself is that your nervous system doesn't care what you “know.”
 
Let me explain.
 
You can believe with your entire logical mind that you're capable of reaching out to potential clients. But if your body goes into fight-or-flight mode the second you open LinkedIn, no amount of positive thinking will override that response.
 
That's where tiny, bite-sized doses of exposure therapy comes in.
 
If you're terrified of reaching out to clients, start by connecting with 10 copywriters on LinkedIn. They almost never say no to connection requests, and suddenly you have proof that reaching out to people isn't actually dangerous.
 
Then, maybe you comment on a few posts. Then you send a friendly DM to someone whose work you admire. Each small step gives your nervous system evidence that it's safe to be visible.
 
That exposure, tied with the mindset work you’ve already done, is the key to lasting change and strength.
 
Tip #3: Fun Isn't Immature… It's Strategic! Some people can simply think “I need my paycheck” and that's enough motivation to power through their day.If you have ADHD, the idea of money being all the motivation necessary sounds impossible.
 
Because the truth is, if you have ADHD, you need fun! You need games, puzzles, novelty, and challenge. You need to make things interesting to keep that dopamine flowing, because like I mentioned earlier, your brain has a hard time producing dopamine all on its own.
 
And let me tell you, nothing about that is silly or immature.
 
I've worked with brilliant, accomplished business owners who felt ashamed that they needed to gamify their invoicing process or turn their inbox into a points system. They'd been told their whole lives to “just buckle down and do the work like an adult.”
 
But what I tell every single one of them is that this isn’t childish! We’re actually leveraging biochemistry, which is pretty smart if I do say so myself.
 
Some of my clients race against timers. Some create elaborate reward systems. Some alternate between different types of tasks to keep things interesting. Whatever works for your brain is the right approach.
 
Stop trying to “work like a normal person” and start working like yourself.
 
About Shelby Dennis: Shelby Dennis is known for her creative and unique approach to writing, whether for her clients or her own courses and coaching materials. Her new official website, www.freelancermindset.com, breaks down her methodology and approach to coaching new writers, and you can subscribe to her free newsletter there as well. She also runs a Skool community for new and aspiring freelance writers who need support. Whether you struggle with ADHD or simply want to build a freelance business that feels authentic, Shelby will help you confidently navigate this journey with confidence.
 
Hope you enjoyed Shelby's advice friends! Watch the YouTube Video HERE.

Until next time take care, God Bless and Please Be Kind... be kind to yourself, be kind to others and I pray your kindness returs to you 100-fold.
PamT

In a previous blog post, we talked about Self-Care. Today we’re going to discuss Self-Love.

Some people think self-love and self-care are the same thing but that’s not necessarily true. Many take care of their health–eat clean, exercise, limit alcohol and sugar intake, etc.–and yet still hate their bodies or have a list of character flaws a mile long.

In other words, their internal dialogue is far less than loving toward themselves.

Now, by self-love I don’t mean cocky, arrogant or conceited, but a healthy love of Who you are. And who you are is a perfect soul in an imperfect body and imperfect world.

What do you see, and say, when you look in the mirror? Are you loving and appreciative of the body you’ve been blessed with or disgusted and disapproving?

WHY?

Who says what’s good or bad about the vessel that houses your soul?

We have allowed the opinions of everyone and everything outside of us to determine our worth!

Jesus said we should, “love your neighbor as yourself.” But how can we love our neighbor if we don’t even like ourselves?

So, how can we cultivate Self-Love?

One way is to simply close your eyes, place your hand over your heart and breathe in, “love.”

Another, is to say, “I love you,” instead of just breathing in the feeling of love.

One of the best ways is to look in the mirror at yourself, put your hand over your heart, and say, “I love you.”

If professing your love for/to yourself feels too icky, start by complimenting yourself. Hey Gorgeous (or handsome). You look good today. I really like your smile or that dress you’re wearing. That color looks good on you!

When you begin cultivating self-love, you may feel resistance in your body but if you’ll stick with the practice, I promise you will develop a healthy sense of love, kindness, and compassion for the vessel in which your soul resides.

Something to think about!
PamT
Coaching in PJs™
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

​Watch the YTvideo HERE.

​As women we're wired to nurture those around us. As Christians we've been taught JOY stands for Jesus, Others and then Yourself. But IMHO that's backwards. How can we give to others if we're burned out, frustrated or just plain empty?
​
The reasoning is because we benefit from doing things for others, and that's true! But too often this leads to many of the symptoms mentioned in my previous paragraph.

Many people have their own ideas of what "self-care" means, but for me, this does not have to be complicated or costly. Think about what you love to do...

Do you love to read? Take a walk? Sit out in nature? Indulge in a bath with candles and music? These are all forms of self-care. Many times we wait for others to do things for us that make us feel loved and pampered- and that's fine too, but we need to love and pamper ourselves.

"But I don't have time!" You say.

Let's think about this for a moment. How much do you do for others while neglecting your own needs? 

This is unhealthy and out of balance.

Look at your day/week/month with a critical eye and see where you can carve out a few minutes each day, one day a week or a couple of days every month and schedule a massage or visit to a reflexologist or chiropractor. Have a manicure and/or pedicure or whatever you can do to recalibrate your nervous system and reconnect with yourself, your dreams and God.

In other words, have some much needed "Me Time." 

Here are a few more ideas...

Read a book for the sheer pleasure of it.
Take yourself on a picnic or for a walk in the park.
Buy yourself some flowers or a new outfit - again for the pleasure it brings you.

If we want to nurture others, we must nurture ourselves also.

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge! ™
"Coaching in Pjs" ™

PS: Read The Art of Extreme Self-Care: 12 Practical and Inspiring Ways to Love Yourself More  by Cheryl Richardson for beautiful ideas to transform your life "one month at a time."