3 Business Coaching Tips That Changed Everything for My ADHD Clients 

Hi there! I’m Shelby, a hairdresser turned freelance writer turned business coach. I also have ADHD, but it wasn’t until my late 20s that I was finally diagnosed and some of my lifelong struggles started to finally make sense.
 
That diagnosis drove me to learn more about ADHD brains and what I could do to build a freelance business that works with me, not against me. Now, I coach new and aspiring freelancers on stepping in self-love and pursuing the work they’ve always dreamed of.
 
But it wasn’t always fun or easy! In fact, back at the very beginning, I paused my freelance dreams for an entire year because I couldn’t handle the thought of hearing “no” from potential clients.
 
When I finally discovered I had Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria— a real neurological difference common in people with ADHD— everything clicked into place. The shame I'd been carrying for years suddenly had a name.
 
And more importantly, a solution!
 
That's when I started training to become a coach other ADHD entrepreneurs. Because for many ADHD brains like mine, all the mindset work in the world won't help if you're fighting against your own biochemistry.
 
Today, I'm sharing three coaching tips that have transformed how my clients approach their businesses. These are practical, neurologically-informed approaches that are proven to work for ADHD brains, soul-led creatives, and anyone who might describe themselves as “sensitive.”
 
Tip #1: Start Small to Create Momentum If you’re anything like me, trying to start each day by tackling the hardest task is a sure path to procrastination. Turns out, there’s a neurological reason for that.
 
The gist is, people with ADHD produce less dopamine, a hormone produced by the brain. It’s known as the “feel-good” hormone because it’s tied to motivation and the joy of finishing tasks.
 
Since we have less of it, the best thing you can do is to start your day with something you know you can accomplish. Answer three emails. Organize your desktop. Make that quick phone call you've been putting off!
 
That small win gives you momentum. It provides your system with just enough dopamine to tackle the bigger task.
 
One more secret: save 1-2 smaller wins for after the big thing as a treat to look forward to. You'll be amazed how much faster you finish when there's something enjoyable waiting on the other side!
 
Tip #2: Mindset + Exposure = Lasting Change I work with a lot of people who've done so much powerful mindset work. They've journaled,  internalized the affirmations, and reframed their limiting beliefs.
 
And yet… they're still frozen when it's time to take action.
 
One of the biggest things I've learned as both an ADHD coach for freelance writers and someone who's been there myself is that your nervous system doesn't care what you “know.”
 
Let me explain.
 
You can believe with your entire logical mind that you're capable of reaching out to potential clients. But if your body goes into fight-or-flight mode the second you open LinkedIn, no amount of positive thinking will override that response.
 
That's where tiny, bite-sized doses of exposure therapy comes in.
 
If you're terrified of reaching out to clients, start by connecting with 10 copywriters on LinkedIn. They almost never say no to connection requests, and suddenly you have proof that reaching out to people isn't actually dangerous.
 
Then, maybe you comment on a few posts. Then you send a friendly DM to someone whose work you admire. Each small step gives your nervous system evidence that it's safe to be visible.
 
That exposure, tied with the mindset work you’ve already done, is the key to lasting change and strength.
 
Tip #3: Fun Isn't Immature… It's Strategic! Some people can simply think “I need my paycheck” and that's enough motivation to power through their day.If you have ADHD, the idea of money being all the motivation necessary sounds impossible.
 
Because the truth is, if you have ADHD, you need fun! You need games, puzzles, novelty, and challenge. You need to make things interesting to keep that dopamine flowing, because like I mentioned earlier, your brain has a hard time producing dopamine all on its own.
 
And let me tell you, nothing about that is silly or immature.
 
I've worked with brilliant, accomplished business owners who felt ashamed that they needed to gamify their invoicing process or turn their inbox into a points system. They'd been told their whole lives to “just buckle down and do the work like an adult.”
 
But what I tell every single one of them is that this isn’t childish! We’re actually leveraging biochemistry, which is pretty smart if I do say so myself.
 
Some of my clients race against timers. Some create elaborate reward systems. Some alternate between different types of tasks to keep things interesting. Whatever works for your brain is the right approach.
 
Stop trying to “work like a normal person” and start working like yourself.
 
About Shelby Dennis: Shelby Dennis is known for her creative and unique approach to writing, whether for her clients or her own courses and coaching materials. Her new official website, www.freelancermindset.com, breaks down her methodology and approach to coaching new writers, and you can subscribe to her free newsletter there as well. She also runs a Skool community for new and aspiring freelance writers who need support. Whether you struggle with ADHD or simply want to build a freelance business that feels authentic, Shelby will help you confidently navigate this journey with confidence.
 
Hope you enjoyed Shelby's advice friends! Watch the YouTube Video HERE.

Until next time take care, God Bless and Please Be Kind... be kind to yourself, be kind to others and I pray your kindness returs to you 100-fold.
PamT

Good Morning and Welcome to our first of what I hope to be many guest interviews and posts.

I met Paul Briley when he invited me to be a guest on his podcast, Off the Comma, so it's only right and fair, (and my pleasure!) to have him on Coaching in PJs​™

Thanks for joining us, Paul. Please tell us a little about yourself and share with us a few tips, tricks and hacks to help us live more fulfilled lives...

Thanks, Pam!

Hello, Folks, I'm Paul Briley

I am a life coach and a talent development professional with a natural talent for helping people solve problems and find clarity. My strengths in listening, organizing and synthesizing ideas into actionable plans helps people create movement in their lives, work spaces and environments. 

What makes me unique? Empathy and understanding. I have a unique talent for seeing your challenges and noticing things you may have missed. I can help break down complex issues into simple components. I’m not afraid to challenge the norm and present easier solutions. I believe in having fun in the process and considering the impact on people at every level of the challenge.

I love exploring new things, ascending to high places, and decluttering wherever I have the chance. When I’m not working, I’m often out exploring somewhere. If I can’t explore outside, I turn the adventure inwards.

The tips I share are things I have learned and applied in my own life. I share these as invitation, not from a position of expertise or mastery. If any of this resonates with you, feel free to adapt it to your needs. I don’t pretend to know all the answers, but I’m working on finding my own. I wish you best of success in all facets of your life!

Tip One: Come to know yourself. 
Discovering myself is a lifelong journey. I go through cycles with this, sometimes actively and consciously pursuing awareness. Other times I run blindly through life without paying attention to what’s going on in my mind and heart. Coming to know myself means discovering all of it - the good, the bad, the boring. There’s nothing glamorous or elegant about it. Sometimes I discover things that are profound, deep and meaningful about myself. Other times I realize that I’m just ordinary and unremarkable. Once I thought I would discover some ultimate path, my grand purpose, my life’s meaning. Now I realize that the journey is just as important as the meaning I assign to it. I continue to look and learn, but I no longer assume that it is something I will discover “someday”. I learn a little about myself every day. Sometimes I boldly go down a path of purpose and other times I’m lost in the grass. And sometimes I’m crashed in the ditch, needing to climb my way out. To use my own metaphor, my life is a series of stories separated by commas and other punctuation marks. 

Tip Two: Let others be themselves.
I used to be really attached to helping, fixing and pleasing others. I grew up in a family where I felt compelled to solve our dysfunctions. I chose a career that involved teaching and training others how to “do things right” in the workplace. I worked in leadership where I was expected to direct, lead and manage others to do things “by the book”. Much of my career was spent pointing others to directions of my, or others’, choosing. As I’ve grown older, I’ve become tired of worrying about others. I’ve grown tired of criticizing others for doing or being different. During my professional coach training, I learned the power of agency and autonomy. It was one of the most powerful lessons I could ever learn. Now, I recognize that other people are capable of living their own lives. Everyone has choice and gets to decide how they want to live and act every day. Now, I have shifted my approach toward others. Most of the time (I still work on this daily), I choose to be curious about people. I ask questions as much as I give advice. I notice my reactions to other people and question any judgments I have. I choose to assume that everything someone else does if for a reason - and it’s okay if it is none of my business. This goes against a lot of the social programming I was raised with and that is reinforced in society. This is always a work in progress.

Tip Three: Do the things you want…now!
Life is short. I spent too much time in my life planning, waiting and wishing. Rather than wait until my 60s or 70s in retirement, I took some scary steps at the age of 49 that began the journey of discovery and exploration for me. I made a huge shift in my career, moved back across the country, downsized my living arrangements, finished my college degrees online at the age of 50, started learning Spanish, trained to be a Life Coach, went skydiving, took trips across the globe and many more things that I never took the time to do in my 20s, 30s and 40s. I decided to make trade-offs between what is considered “normal” in society to doing the things that I want to do. Whatever you might be dreaming of, I would encourage you to find a way to do it. If you can’t do it now, then make a plan. Set a date. Buy the ticket. Make the declaration. Trust your gut and it won’t steer you wrong. I won’t lie, this is often scary. That’s sometimes the thing that tells me it is right for me. 

Tip Four: Let it be messy. 
One of the hardest things for me to learn is to let it be unplanned, disorganized and happen organically. I have held myself back from doing so many things in the past because I had to plan it, organize it, and make it perfect. I wouldn’t take action or get started unless I had a full map and action plan. I still have this tendency, but I’m shifting towards taking action - even if the planning isn’t complete. Instead of waiting until I have all the answers, I take a small step. I’m allowing myself to state “what I want”, even when I don’t know “how I will do it”. As an example, I have set 2-3 ambitious goals for my work in 2026. For at least one of my objectives, I have NO idea how I will accomplish it. But I have set the intention and described what I want it to look and feel like when I have it. The rest, I will figure out! This is a big shift for me. 

Tip Five: Mind your own business. 
This builds upon and relates to Tip Two above. It was so important I felt I needed to reinforce it further. In addition to letting others be themselves, the action I have started taking to support that is to mind my own business. Throughout my life I have felt compelled to comment, offer advice, compliment, remark, joke, and engage with other people as a matter of habit. Many times it was a convenient way to spark conversation. Often, my engagement was welcomed and that was fortunate. However, I don’t now how many times I forced my words on someone when they really weren’t interested. It has been such a habit that it often did not occur to me that other people may not care, want or need my thoughts and comments. Now, I am actively working to resist the urge to joke, comment and compliment people that I encounter. This is especially true when I’m around strangers out in public. The big shift for me now is to ask myself, “What is my intention in saying/asking this to that person?” Most of the time, the answer is that it somehow has to do with me, not them. Either way, I now practice restraint and work really hard to only engage if I’m asked. Or I will ask the other person before making comments, observations or remarks. My goal is to give people their space and to do no harm. This requires a lot of self-awareness and self-observation. I still often speak before I can stop myself. However, now I can reflect on what I’ve said and learn from it. 

These are GREAT tips, Paul. Thank YOU for sharing them.

Hope you enjoyed Paul's visit today, friends. You can listen to our interview on the YouTube Channel and find out more about Paul and how to reach him by visiting his Website. Connect with him on Social Media and listen to our interview on Off the Comma HERE. Check out other Off the Comma episodes by clicking on the graphic above.

Until next time, take care, God bless and remember to be kind... Be kind to yourself, be kind to others and I pray your kindness returns to you 100-fold!
PamT
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I love this photo as, (for me), it depicts the beauty of the Resurrection poignantly.

I haven't posted anything over the past several weeks because I thought I didn't have anything to say.
​
What I should have done was tell you what I've been doing during lent on the Coaching in PJs™ YouTube Channel which is...

40 Days of Ho'oponono with EFT around Money!

If you've followed me for any length of time, you know how I found EFT/Tapping and I know I've mentioned this prayer before which I believe is totally in line with Jesus's teachings on love and forgiveness.

I know Lent is basically over but these prayers are short and can be done at anytime. Check out the Playlist HERE.

New content will be available on @Coaching in PJs™ YouTube Channel and here on the blog beginning April 13th with an interview with Paul Briley from Off the Comma Podcast.

Until then, take care, God bless and have a Blessed & Happy Easter celebration!
PamT