3 Business Coaching Tips That Changed Everything for My ADHD Clients 

Hi there! I’m Shelby, a hairdresser turned freelance writer turned business coach. I also have ADHD, but it wasn’t until my late 20s that I was finally diagnosed and some of my lifelong struggles started to finally make sense.
 
That diagnosis drove me to learn more about ADHD brains and what I could do to build a freelance business that works with me, not against me. Now, I coach new and aspiring freelancers on stepping in self-love and pursuing the work they’ve always dreamed of.
 
But it wasn’t always fun or easy! In fact, back at the very beginning, I paused my freelance dreams for an entire year because I couldn’t handle the thought of hearing “no” from potential clients.
 
When I finally discovered I had Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria— a real neurological difference common in people with ADHD— everything clicked into place. The shame I'd been carrying for years suddenly had a name.
 
And more importantly, a solution!
 
That's when I started training to become a coach other ADHD entrepreneurs. Because for many ADHD brains like mine, all the mindset work in the world won't help if you're fighting against your own biochemistry.
 
Today, I'm sharing three coaching tips that have transformed how my clients approach their businesses. These are practical, neurologically-informed approaches that are proven to work for ADHD brains, soul-led creatives, and anyone who might describe themselves as “sensitive.”
 
Tip #1: Start Small to Create Momentum If you’re anything like me, trying to start each day by tackling the hardest task is a sure path to procrastination. Turns out, there’s a neurological reason for that.
 
The gist is, people with ADHD produce less dopamine, a hormone produced by the brain. It’s known as the “feel-good” hormone because it’s tied to motivation and the joy of finishing tasks.
 
Since we have less of it, the best thing you can do is to start your day with something you know you can accomplish. Answer three emails. Organize your desktop. Make that quick phone call you've been putting off!
 
That small win gives you momentum. It provides your system with just enough dopamine to tackle the bigger task.
 
One more secret: save 1-2 smaller wins for after the big thing as a treat to look forward to. You'll be amazed how much faster you finish when there's something enjoyable waiting on the other side!
 
Tip #2: Mindset + Exposure = Lasting Change I work with a lot of people who've done so much powerful mindset work. They've journaled,  internalized the affirmations, and reframed their limiting beliefs.
 
And yet… they're still frozen when it's time to take action.
 
One of the biggest things I've learned as both an ADHD coach for freelance writers and someone who's been there myself is that your nervous system doesn't care what you “know.”
 
Let me explain.
 
You can believe with your entire logical mind that you're capable of reaching out to potential clients. But if your body goes into fight-or-flight mode the second you open LinkedIn, no amount of positive thinking will override that response.
 
That's where tiny, bite-sized doses of exposure therapy comes in.
 
If you're terrified of reaching out to clients, start by connecting with 10 copywriters on LinkedIn. They almost never say no to connection requests, and suddenly you have proof that reaching out to people isn't actually dangerous.
 
Then, maybe you comment on a few posts. Then you send a friendly DM to someone whose work you admire. Each small step gives your nervous system evidence that it's safe to be visible.
 
That exposure, tied with the mindset work you’ve already done, is the key to lasting change and strength.
 
Tip #3: Fun Isn't Immature… It's Strategic! Some people can simply think “I need my paycheck” and that's enough motivation to power through their day.If you have ADHD, the idea of money being all the motivation necessary sounds impossible.
 
Because the truth is, if you have ADHD, you need fun! You need games, puzzles, novelty, and challenge. You need to make things interesting to keep that dopamine flowing, because like I mentioned earlier, your brain has a hard time producing dopamine all on its own.
 
And let me tell you, nothing about that is silly or immature.
 
I've worked with brilliant, accomplished business owners who felt ashamed that they needed to gamify their invoicing process or turn their inbox into a points system. They'd been told their whole lives to “just buckle down and do the work like an adult.”
 
But what I tell every single one of them is that this isn’t childish! We’re actually leveraging biochemistry, which is pretty smart if I do say so myself.
 
Some of my clients race against timers. Some create elaborate reward systems. Some alternate between different types of tasks to keep things interesting. Whatever works for your brain is the right approach.
 
Stop trying to “work like a normal person” and start working like yourself.
 
About Shelby Dennis: Shelby Dennis is known for her creative and unique approach to writing, whether for her clients or her own courses and coaching materials. Her new official website, www.freelancermindset.com, breaks down her methodology and approach to coaching new writers, and you can subscribe to her free newsletter there as well. She also runs a Skool community for new and aspiring freelance writers who need support. Whether you struggle with ADHD or simply want to build a freelance business that feels authentic, Shelby will help you confidently navigate this journey with confidence.
 
Hope you enjoyed Shelby's advice friends! Watch the YouTube Video HERE.

Until next time take care, God Bless and Please Be Kind... be kind to yourself, be kind to others and I pray your kindness returs to you 100-fold.
PamT

Good Morning and Welcome to our first of what I hope to be many guest interviews and posts.

I met Paul Briley when he invited me to be a guest on his podcast, Off the Comma, so it's only right and fair, (and my pleasure!) to have him on Coaching in PJs​™

Thanks for joining us, Paul. Please tell us a little about yourself and share with us a few tips, tricks and hacks to help us live more fulfilled lives...

Thanks, Pam!

Hello, Folks, I'm Paul Briley

I am a life coach and a talent development professional with a natural talent for helping people solve problems and find clarity. My strengths in listening, organizing and synthesizing ideas into actionable plans helps people create movement in their lives, work spaces and environments. 

What makes me unique? Empathy and understanding. I have a unique talent for seeing your challenges and noticing things you may have missed. I can help break down complex issues into simple components. I’m not afraid to challenge the norm and present easier solutions. I believe in having fun in the process and considering the impact on people at every level of the challenge.

I love exploring new things, ascending to high places, and decluttering wherever I have the chance. When I’m not working, I’m often out exploring somewhere. If I can’t explore outside, I turn the adventure inwards.

The tips I share are things I have learned and applied in my own life. I share these as invitation, not from a position of expertise or mastery. If any of this resonates with you, feel free to adapt it to your needs. I don’t pretend to know all the answers, but I’m working on finding my own. I wish you best of success in all facets of your life!

Tip One: Come to know yourself. 
Discovering myself is a lifelong journey. I go through cycles with this, sometimes actively and consciously pursuing awareness. Other times I run blindly through life without paying attention to what’s going on in my mind and heart. Coming to know myself means discovering all of it - the good, the bad, the boring. There’s nothing glamorous or elegant about it. Sometimes I discover things that are profound, deep and meaningful about myself. Other times I realize that I’m just ordinary and unremarkable. Once I thought I would discover some ultimate path, my grand purpose, my life’s meaning. Now I realize that the journey is just as important as the meaning I assign to it. I continue to look and learn, but I no longer assume that it is something I will discover “someday”. I learn a little about myself every day. Sometimes I boldly go down a path of purpose and other times I’m lost in the grass. And sometimes I’m crashed in the ditch, needing to climb my way out. To use my own metaphor, my life is a series of stories separated by commas and other punctuation marks. 

Tip Two: Let others be themselves.
I used to be really attached to helping, fixing and pleasing others. I grew up in a family where I felt compelled to solve our dysfunctions. I chose a career that involved teaching and training others how to “do things right” in the workplace. I worked in leadership where I was expected to direct, lead and manage others to do things “by the book”. Much of my career was spent pointing others to directions of my, or others’, choosing. As I’ve grown older, I’ve become tired of worrying about others. I’ve grown tired of criticizing others for doing or being different. During my professional coach training, I learned the power of agency and autonomy. It was one of the most powerful lessons I could ever learn. Now, I recognize that other people are capable of living their own lives. Everyone has choice and gets to decide how they want to live and act every day. Now, I have shifted my approach toward others. Most of the time (I still work on this daily), I choose to be curious about people. I ask questions as much as I give advice. I notice my reactions to other people and question any judgments I have. I choose to assume that everything someone else does if for a reason - and it’s okay if it is none of my business. This goes against a lot of the social programming I was raised with and that is reinforced in society. This is always a work in progress.

Tip Three: Do the things you want…now!
Life is short. I spent too much time in my life planning, waiting and wishing. Rather than wait until my 60s or 70s in retirement, I took some scary steps at the age of 49 that began the journey of discovery and exploration for me. I made a huge shift in my career, moved back across the country, downsized my living arrangements, finished my college degrees online at the age of 50, started learning Spanish, trained to be a Life Coach, went skydiving, took trips across the globe and many more things that I never took the time to do in my 20s, 30s and 40s. I decided to make trade-offs between what is considered “normal” in society to doing the things that I want to do. Whatever you might be dreaming of, I would encourage you to find a way to do it. If you can’t do it now, then make a plan. Set a date. Buy the ticket. Make the declaration. Trust your gut and it won’t steer you wrong. I won’t lie, this is often scary. That’s sometimes the thing that tells me it is right for me. 

Tip Four: Let it be messy. 
One of the hardest things for me to learn is to let it be unplanned, disorganized and happen organically. I have held myself back from doing so many things in the past because I had to plan it, organize it, and make it perfect. I wouldn’t take action or get started unless I had a full map and action plan. I still have this tendency, but I’m shifting towards taking action - even if the planning isn’t complete. Instead of waiting until I have all the answers, I take a small step. I’m allowing myself to state “what I want”, even when I don’t know “how I will do it”. As an example, I have set 2-3 ambitious goals for my work in 2026. For at least one of my objectives, I have NO idea how I will accomplish it. But I have set the intention and described what I want it to look and feel like when I have it. The rest, I will figure out! This is a big shift for me. 

Tip Five: Mind your own business. 
This builds upon and relates to Tip Two above. It was so important I felt I needed to reinforce it further. In addition to letting others be themselves, the action I have started taking to support that is to mind my own business. Throughout my life I have felt compelled to comment, offer advice, compliment, remark, joke, and engage with other people as a matter of habit. Many times it was a convenient way to spark conversation. Often, my engagement was welcomed and that was fortunate. However, I don’t now how many times I forced my words on someone when they really weren’t interested. It has been such a habit that it often did not occur to me that other people may not care, want or need my thoughts and comments. Now, I am actively working to resist the urge to joke, comment and compliment people that I encounter. This is especially true when I’m around strangers out in public. The big shift for me now is to ask myself, “What is my intention in saying/asking this to that person?” Most of the time, the answer is that it somehow has to do with me, not them. Either way, I now practice restraint and work really hard to only engage if I’m asked. Or I will ask the other person before making comments, observations or remarks. My goal is to give people their space and to do no harm. This requires a lot of self-awareness and self-observation. I still often speak before I can stop myself. However, now I can reflect on what I’ve said and learn from it. 

These are GREAT tips, Paul. Thank YOU for sharing them.

Hope you enjoyed Paul's visit today, friends. You can listen to our interview on the YouTube Channel and find out more about Paul and how to reach him by visiting his Website. Connect with him on Social Media and listen to our interview on Off the Comma HERE. Check out other Off the Comma episodes by clicking on the graphic above.

Until next time, take care, God bless and remember to be kind... Be kind to yourself, be kind to others and I pray your kindness returns to you 100-fold!
PamT
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I love this photo as, (for me), it depicts the beauty of the Resurrection poignantly.

I haven't posted anything over the past several weeks because I thought I didn't have anything to say.
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What I should have done was tell you what I've been doing during lent on the Coaching in PJs™ YouTube Channel which is...

40 Days of Ho'oponono with EFT around Money!

If you've followed me for any length of time, you know how I found EFT/Tapping and I know I've mentioned this prayer before which I believe is totally in line with Jesus's teachings on love and forgiveness.

I know Lent is basically over but these prayers are short and can be done at anytime. Check out the Playlist HERE.

New content will be available on @Coaching in PJs™ YouTube Channel and here on the blog beginning April 13th with an interview with Paul Briley from Off the Comma Podcast.

Until then, take care, God bless and have a Blessed & Happy Easter celebration!
PamT

In a previous post, we talked about the power of your words to co-create your life with God. Today, we are going to talk about the power of I am. The phrase "I am" is particularly potent, acting as a catalyst for personal growth and manifestation. These two simple words can shape our reality and influence our self-perception in profound ways.

Now this is scripturally based, but it's also well known in the world of manifestation and in the arenas of personal development and spiritual growth as well. Louise Hay, the grandmother of affirmations, is infamous for saying that whatever you say following I am, you create in your life.

The Bible says in Proverbs: "Let the poor say, I am rich; let the weak say, I am strong."

So, whatever words you couple with I am, have even more creative power than just idle words that you speak. Every word that you speak, creates something. You co-create your life with God through your words, your thoughts, your deeds, and your actions and your attitudes.

This is nothing new. Pastor Joel Osteen has a book called The Power of I Am. Wayne Dyer talked about the power of I Am. 

Now, let's think about it in a way that's beneficial, that can help change your life, and help you live a more fulfilled life. Bob Proctor talked about writing a goal card that says, I am so happy and grateful now that… and you fill in the blank of what it is that you're creating in your life, what you want to become, whatever dream that's coming true for you. Keep this in mind when you're talking and when you're thinking about your life.

Put this into practice!

If you say, I'm tired. I am so tired. See how your body feels. Eventually your body's gonna feel tired. If you keep saying, I'm sick and tired, I'm sick and tired, I'm sick and tired, one of these days, you're gonna feel sick and tired. Whether it's emotionally or physically, or both.

Therefore, make I AM a powerful affirmation. I am well, I am healthy, I am strong, I am powerful, I am magical, I am infinite, I am love, I am loved, I am loving, I am kind, I am rich. I am rich in friends, I am rich in relatives. I am rich in consciousness. I am rich in whatever. It doesn't have to be money. It can be anything but money.

However, always include money! I am wealthy. I am financially secure. 

I have pages and pages of journal entries where I wrote I am affirmations, especially after the time my husband passed away and I was thrown into a world that I never wanted to exist in as being a single woman. I didn't know who I was at all. I used to laugh when I heard about people who had to go "find themselves." Well, I found myself trying to figure out who Pam really was and is. I would say those affirmations as I exercised...I am strong. I am powerful. I am beautiful. I am desirable. I am an anointed and successful author.

Again, you can use I Am statements for so many things. So, when you think about the life you want to create, and you think about the power of the words, couple I AM with whatever your dream is.

Think about the little engine that could. He always said, I think I can, I think I can.

​I am gives you that same power.
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If your dream is to be a successful artist, I am a successful artist. I am an anointed and successful artist. I am capable of doing this.

Students out there, if you're facing challenges with your work or your finals or exams or whatever: I am smart. I am capable of understanding this. I am capable of learning this.

Gentlemen, I am strong. I am powerful. I am healthy.

Think about your health. Are you healthy? Do you want to be healthier? I am healed. I am healthy. I am whole. I am complete.

If you're having problems with self-esteem or self-worth: I am gorgeous. I am beautiful. I am desirable.  I am worthy. I am worthy to receive. I am unique. I am special.

Whatever, make your ‘I AM’ statements positive. Make them strong and powerful and watch your life change.

Something to think about...
"Inspirational with an Edge!"™
Coaching in PJs ™

Watch the YT Video HERE

Did you ever have a day when you feel discombobulated, out of sorts or unequipped to be of service or of value to anyone or anything?

That's me today so on YouTube we're talking about the power and benefits of taking a break from your life and RESTING.

Check it out and I'll see you next week.
PamT

I listened to a YouTube short with the late, great Bob Proctor on the power of deciding. If you have a dream job or side hustle or new habits you long to implement, make the decision to do at least 1 thing each and every day toward those dreams and goals.

Dr. Martin Luther King said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Trust that as you step out in faith, your subsequent actions will be shown to you. Claim that and watch things fall into place. Doesn’t mean you won’t get sidetracked or stuck from time to time but you will learn to grow and pivot until your goal(s) is/are reached. 

If you’re like me, you have several projects sitting on your computer, numerous business ideas, or a list of dreams and goals you want to achieve in your life.  And yet, you don't know where to start. Indecisiveness is simply procrastination brought on by fear.

I can tell you from experience how powerful it is to simply decide!

Pick one thing and move steadily in the direction of achieving that goal or realizing that dream. Otherwise you’ll die with your dreams still in you.
 
Something to think about...
"Inspirational with an Edge!"™
Coaching in PJs ™

Watch the YT Video HERE.
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In a previous blog post, we talked about Self-Care. Today we’re going to discuss Self-Love.

Some people think self-love and self-care are the same thing but that’s not necessarily true. Many take care of their health–eat clean, exercise, limit alcohol and sugar intake, etc.–and yet still hate their bodies or have a list of character flaws a mile long.

In other words, their internal dialogue is far less than loving toward themselves.

Now, by self-love I don’t mean cocky, arrogant or conceited, but a healthy love of Who you are. And who you are is a perfect soul in an imperfect body and imperfect world.

What do you see, and say, when you look in the mirror? Are you loving and appreciative of the body you’ve been blessed with or disgusted and disapproving?

WHY?

Who says what’s good or bad about the vessel that houses your soul?

We have allowed the opinions of everyone and everything outside of us to determine our worth!

Jesus said we should, “love your neighbor as yourself.” But how can we love our neighbor if we don’t even like ourselves?

So, how can we cultivate Self-Love?

One way is to simply close your eyes, place your hand over your heart and breathe in, “love.”

Another, is to say, “I love you,” instead of just breathing in the feeling of love.

One of the best ways is to look in the mirror at yourself, put your hand over your heart, and say, “I love you.”

If professing your love for/to yourself feels too icky, start by complimenting yourself. Hey Gorgeous (or handsome). You look good today. I really like your smile or that dress you’re wearing. That color looks good on you!

When you begin cultivating self-love, you may feel resistance in your body but if you’ll stick with the practice, I promise you will develop a healthy sense of love, kindness, and compassion for the vessel in which your soul resides.

Something to think about!
PamT
Coaching in PJs™
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

​Watch the YTvideo HERE.

Many people today don’t realize the power of spoken (or written) words.  But think about it…God spoke the world into existence. The Bible says that “the power of life and death are in the tongue, and they that indulge in it shall eat the fruit thereof” meaning that our words will bring life or death (negative or positive) into our lives.
 
It also says that “as a man think in his heart so he is” giving evidence that there is even power in thoughts which are merely unspoken words. 
 
Genesis says that God’s word will not return void but will accomplish what He intended (paraphrased). The same is true for us! I believe we co-create our life with God through our thoughts, words, actions and attitudes.
 
One of my all-time favorite ministers of God’s word, Joyce Meyer, made a statement one day that changed my life and challenged my way of thinking. She said, “hurling words of judgment is equivalent to stoning in the Old Testament.” 
 
WOW what a concept! We’ve all heard the old saying about sticks and stones, but I think we all know the truth about that one. Words can cut. Worse than any stick or stone can bruise flesh, hurtful words can cut hearts and bruise souls. Even via the Internet love, gentleness, kindness and patience or anger and sarcasm can be shown in our choice of words and tone of emails and messages. 
 
So how can we change the circumstances in our lives with our words?
 
First, we must become aware of our thoughts. Most of the thoughts we think then speak aloud are based on generations of opinions we’ve been programmed to believe since the moment of conception. Perhaps even longer if you look at how the elders in your life think, speak and act. Once you catch the negative, unkind or unhealthy thought, switch it in your mind then speak aloud what you want to believe, think and feel.
 
Next, pay attention to the conversations going on around you and do not participate in those that aren’t positive, compassionate or uplifting. When possible, change the subject and if you can’t, simply excuse yourself.
 
Life is a mirror and people reflect to us something within us that needs to be healed and transmuted or show us where we’ve grown and changed. This doesn’t mean to be prideful or boastful when you find you’ve changed a negative thinking/speaking habit LOL!
 
Thirdly, one of the best and easiest ways to change your negative thoughts/words is gratitude. Find something positive, something to be grateful for in every circumstance, situation and relationship. Focus and build on that and see what happens.
 
As human beings we have the ability to speak good (life) or bad (death) into our lives and circumstances and to call those things that be not as though they are. Even our health! The next time you start complaining about your body, remember this: Every cell in your body is a living organism. They hear what you say and go forth to create your reality out of and around those words.                                                                                                                                                          
If you’re constantly ‘hating’ on something, that thing will never change!
 
So, let us think about what we say, either in person or in the written word and may we always remember; pleasing words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the taste and health to the body for both the speaker and the recipient of words. (Prov.16:24)
 
Something to think about...
PamT
"Coaching in Pj's" ™
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
 
This article is expanded from my YouTube video found HERE.

Coaching in PJs™ posts and YouTube Videos will resume after the holidays...

Meanwhile, here is a poem I wrote back in 2007...

From My Heart to Yours
© 2007

In this season of giving and good cheer, I've a message for all to hear!
Good news and glad tidings sent to all men, for a Savior was born in the town of Bethlehem.

Christ the Lord came down to earth, born in a manger, from holy to lowly by birth.
Throughout His life He chose to live right, to be and example of God's power and might.

To die on a cross in just a few years, but never FEAR!
 For in victory He rose from that awful grave.

To give Life to all those He came to save.
So in this time of giving and season of cheer...Remember, Christ is to be praised all through the year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and Happy New Year!
PamT

As an Author, Life and  Journal Therapy Coach, I know the power of writing things down.
 
Is there a habit or mindset you'd like to break, change or implement? Write it down.
 
Do you have a list of things you'd like to accomplish or manifest? Write them down. 
 
Studies have shown that by writing your dreams, goals and aspirations your chance of achieving them increases by 40%. Reviewing them often concretes them into your subconscious mind and, according to Dr. Joe Dispenza, “whatever links in the brain, sinks in the brain.”
 
This means that precious gray matter immediately starts to scan your memory for experiences and examples of previous accomplishments, look for opportunities to aid you in your quest and creates new neural pathways that override existing programming, thereby drowning out that incessant voice in your head that says, “you can’t,” OR “you’re not good enough,” OR whatever it drones on and on about to stop you from living the happy, successful, fulfilled life you desire.
 
Take this a step further and flesh out your ideas. Using all your senses, describe in detail what it is you desire and put this in an area you can see (refrigerator or vision board) and review it daily - several times a day and with as much sensory detail as possible… How do you feel once you’ve accomplished something on your list? Where are you? Who are you with? What do you hear? Are you celebrating? Who’s there? What are you wearing, drinking, eating? Let your imagination run wild! The brain and body do not know if you are actually experiencing the scenario or if you’re creating it from thought alone.
 
Want to make your chances of accomplishing everything on your list more probable? Share your goals, dreams and aspirations with a friend. This creates accountability and increases your chance of success by 76%! Make sure this is someone who is in your corner and will not, with all good intentions, discourage or sabotage you.
 
Think I’m full of bull?
 
A study by Michigan State University showed that 76% of participants who wrote down their goals and action plans and shared them weekly achieved and/or accomplished what they set out to do. Read the entire article HERE.
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Something to think about...
PamT
"Coaching in Pj's" ™
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
 
For more information on the benefits of recording things you're grateful for, check out Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout and The Gratitude Jar by Josie Robinson.