In a previous blog post, we talked about Self-Care. Today we’re going to discuss Self-Love.

Some people think self-love and self-care are the same thing but that’s not necessarily true. Many take care of their health–eat clean, exercise, limit alcohol and sugar intake, etc.–and yet still hate their bodies or have a list of character flaws a mile long.

In other words, their internal dialogue is far less than loving toward themselves.

Now, by self-love I don’t mean cocky, arrogant or conceited, but a healthy love of Who you are. And who you are is a perfect soul in an imperfect body and imperfect world.

What do you see, and say, when you look in the mirror? Are you loving and appreciative of the body you’ve been blessed with or disgusted and disapproving?

WHY?

Who says what’s good or bad about the vessel that houses your soul?

We have allowed the opinions of everyone and everything outside of us to determine our worth!

Jesus said we should, “love your neighbor as yourself.” But how can we love our neighbor if we don’t even like ourselves?

So, how can we cultivate Self-Love?

One way is to simply close your eyes, place your hand over your heart and breathe in, “love.”

Another, is to say, “I love you,” instead of just breathing in the feeling of love.

One of the best ways is to look in the mirror at yourself, put your hand over your heart, and say, “I love you.”

If professing your love for/to yourself feels too icky, start by complimenting yourself. Hey Gorgeous (or handsome). You look good today. I really like your smile or that dress you’re wearing. That color looks good on you!

When you begin cultivating self-love, you may feel resistance in your body but if you’ll stick with the practice, I promise you will develop a healthy sense of love, kindness, and compassion for the vessel in which your soul resides.

Something to think about!
PamT
Coaching in PJs™
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™

​Watch the YTvideo HERE.

Many people today don’t realize the power of spoken (or written) words.  But think about it…God spoke the world into existence. The Bible says that “the power of life and death are in the tongue, and they that indulge in it shall eat the fruit thereof” meaning that our words will bring life or death (negative or positive) into our lives.
 
It also says that “as a man think in his heart so he is” giving evidence that there is even power in thoughts which are merely unspoken words. 
 
Genesis says that God’s word will not return void but will accomplish what He intended (paraphrased). The same is true for us! I believe we co-create our life with God through our thoughts, words, actions and attitudes.
 
One of my all-time favorite ministers of God’s word, Joyce Meyer, made a statement one day that changed my life and challenged my way of thinking. She said, “hurling words of judgment is equivalent to stoning in the Old Testament.” 
 
WOW what a concept! We’ve all heard the old saying about sticks and stones, but I think we all know the truth about that one. Words can cut. Worse than any stick or stone can bruise flesh, hurtful words can cut hearts and bruise souls. Even via the Internet love, gentleness, kindness and patience or anger and sarcasm can be shown in our choice of words and tone of emails and messages. 
 
So how can we change the circumstances in our lives with our words?
 
First, we must become aware of our thoughts. Most of the thoughts we think then speak aloud are based on generations of opinions we’ve been programmed to believe since the moment of conception. Perhaps even longer if you look at how the elders in your life think, speak and act. Once you catch the negative, unkind or unhealthy thought, switch it in your mind then speak aloud what you want to believe, think and feel.
 
Next, pay attention to the conversations going on around you and do not participate in those that aren’t positive, compassionate or uplifting. When possible, change the subject and if you can’t, simply excuse yourself.
 
Life is a mirror and people reflect to us something within us that needs to be healed and transmuted or show us where we’ve grown and changed. This doesn’t mean to be prideful or boastful when you find you’ve changed a negative thinking/speaking habit LOL!
 
Thirdly, one of the best and easiest ways to change your negative thoughts/words is gratitude. Find something positive, something to be grateful for in every circumstance, situation and relationship. Focus and build on that and see what happens.
 
As human beings we have the ability to speak good (life) or bad (death) into our lives and circumstances and to call those things that be not as though they are. Even our health! The next time you start complaining about your body, remember this: Every cell in your body is a living organism. They hear what you say and go forth to create your reality out of and around those words.                                                                                                                                                          
If you’re constantly ‘hating’ on something, that thing will never change!
 
So, let us think about what we say, either in person or in the written word and may we always remember; pleasing words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the taste and health to the body for both the speaker and the recipient of words. (Prov.16:24)
 
Something to think about...
PamT
"Coaching in Pj's" ™
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
 
This article is expanded from my YouTube video found HERE.

Coaching in PJs™ posts and YouTube Videos will resume after the holidays...

Meanwhile, here is a poem I wrote back in 2007...

From My Heart to Yours
© 2007

In this season of giving and good cheer, I've a message for all to hear!
Good news and glad tidings sent to all men, for a Savior was born in the town of Bethlehem.

Christ the Lord came down to earth, born in a manger, from holy to lowly by birth.
Throughout His life He chose to live right, to be and example of God's power and might.

To die on a cross in just a few years, but never FEAR!
 For in victory He rose from that awful grave.

To give Life to all those He came to save.
So in this time of giving and season of cheer...Remember, Christ is to be praised all through the year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and Happy New Year!
PamT

As an Author, Life and  Journal Therapy Coach, I know the power of writing things down.
 
Is there a habit or mindset you'd like to break, change or implement? Write it down.
 
Do you have a list of things you'd like to accomplish or manifest? Write them down. 
 
Studies have shown that by writing your dreams, goals and aspirations your chance of achieving them increases by 40%. Reviewing them often concretes them into your subconscious mind and, according to Dr. Joe Dispenza, “whatever links in the brain, sinks in the brain.”
 
This means that precious gray matter immediately starts to scan your memory for experiences and examples of previous accomplishments, look for opportunities to aid you in your quest and creates new neural pathways that override existing programming, thereby drowning out that incessant voice in your head that says, “you can’t,” OR “you’re not good enough,” OR whatever it drones on and on about to stop you from living the happy, successful, fulfilled life you desire.
 
Take this a step further and flesh out your ideas. Using all your senses, describe in detail what it is you desire and put this in an area you can see (refrigerator or vision board) and review it daily - several times a day and with as much sensory detail as possible… How do you feel once you’ve accomplished something on your list? Where are you? Who are you with? What do you hear? Are you celebrating? Who’s there? What are you wearing, drinking, eating? Let your imagination run wild! The brain and body do not know if you are actually experiencing the scenario or if you’re creating it from thought alone.
 
Want to make your chances of accomplishing everything on your list more probable? Share your goals, dreams and aspirations with a friend. This creates accountability and increases your chance of success by 76%! Make sure this is someone who is in your corner and will not, with all good intentions, discourage or sabotage you.
 
Think I’m full of bull?
 
A study by Michigan State University showed that 76% of participants who wrote down their goals and action plans and shared them weekly achieved and/or accomplished what they set out to do. Read the entire article HERE.
​
Something to think about...
PamT
"Coaching in Pj's" ™
“Inspirational with an Edge!” ™
 
For more information on the benefits of recording things you're grateful for, check out Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout and The Gratitude Jar by Josie Robinson.

Back in February of this year (2025) I did a workshop on Heart Coherence. What is that? You ask. 

Medically speaking, Heart Coherence is a state of being where your body's systems (heart, lungs, brain) align, leading to a balanced Autonomic Nervous System and more efficient functioning.

In layman’s terms, heart coherence is when your mind is quiet, your heart is open, your spirit is peaceful and you are able to hear what God or Your Intuition is telling you.   

In other words, you are not "stressed out." 

How do you get there?

Simple. Place your palms over your heart, close your eyes and take 5 deep (really deep) breaths, exhaling slowly through pursed lips (like you’re blowing out of a straw). Once everything is calm and quiet, think of something/someone you love and appreciate and/or something/someone you're grateful for.

Feel that? That soft, sweet feeling? 

THAT is heart coherence.

And, when you are in heart coherence more often than not, life seems to go a lot more smoothly and, honestly, you get more accomplished.

Some other ways to get into Heart Coherence are
*Sitting in nature.
*Meditation
*Practicing Yoga or Tai Chi.
*Indulging in a hot bath, sauna or massage. 

In other words, any activity that leads to a peaceful state of being where the monkey-mind has quit its incessant chatter, your body is relaxed and your heart and spirit feel expansive.

Try setting a timer or reminder on your phone to go off every few hours and check in with yourself and bring your body into heart coherence. You'll be amazed at the results.

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge! ™
"Coaching in Pjs" ™

​As women we're wired to nurture those around us. As Christians we've been taught JOY stands for Jesus, Others and then Yourself. But IMHO that's backwards. How can we give to others if we're burned out, frustrated or just plain empty?
​
The reasoning is because we benefit from doing things for others, and that's true! But too often this leads to many of the symptoms mentioned in my previous paragraph.

Many people have their own ideas of what "self-care" means, but for me, this does not have to be complicated or costly. Think about what you love to do...

Do you love to read? Take a walk? Sit out in nature? Indulge in a bath with candles and music? These are all forms of self-care. Many times we wait for others to do things for us that make us feel loved and pampered- and that's fine too, but we need to love and pamper ourselves.

"But I don't have time!" You say.

Let's think about this for a moment. How much do you do for others while neglecting your own needs? 

This is unhealthy and out of balance.

Look at your day/week/month with a critical eye and see where you can carve out a few minutes each day, one day a week or a couple of days every month and schedule a massage or visit to a reflexologist or chiropractor. Have a manicure and/or pedicure or whatever you can do to recalibrate your nervous system and reconnect with yourself, your dreams and God.

In other words, have some much needed "Me Time." 

Here are a few more ideas...

Read a book for the sheer pleasure of it.
Take yourself on a picnic or for a walk in the park.
Buy yourself some flowers or a new outfit - again for the pleasure it brings you.

If we want to nurture others, we must nurture ourselves also.

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge! ™
"Coaching in Pjs" ™

PS: Read The Art of Extreme Self-Care: 12 Practical and Inspiring Ways to Love Yourself More  by Cheryl Richardson for beautiful ideas to transform your life "one month at a time."

You can't "find" time to write or meditate or (fill in the blank), you have to MAKE time. 

I know, I know, easier said than done. But is it?

Let’s think about this for a moment...

Everything in life is 90% perception and any change you want to make in yours usually requires a change in mindset first. So, remember, Time is an Illusion when complaining about your inability to set aside a few minutes a day or hours a week to pursue your passion or practice self-care.
 
Man created the clock, and we all have the same number of minutes/hours in a day. People who manage their time and spend it wisely do great things for themselves, their family, the community and, sometimes, humanity as a whole. “Not having time,” is one of the easiest excuses to fall back on when starting a pet project or implementing a new habit or anything else that will expand you. The mind does not like this, it would rather you stay stuck in your rut or in your safe zones.
 
So, what can you do?
 
First determine how bad you want it (whatever ‘it’ is).
 
Second, recognize when “something comes up” to prevent your scheduled time for yourself and be aware if that is really something urgent or important, or if it is simply procrastination brought on by fear.
 
Now that you’ve set your mind on your goal(s), here are some tips and tricks to making time in your schedule to accomplish it/them.

• For a week or two, keep track of your time the way you would your money when planning a budget. Be honest with yourself about your schedule.
• See if there are opportunities to combine activities in order to free up some time in your day or week. EX: Get your oil changed while eating lunch or while getting your hair cut or picking up a few non-perishables or shopping for gifts or clothes or whatever.
• Cut TV time or Telephone time.
• Be aware of time thieves like social media.
• See if you have time you can work on your project while waiting in a Dr.’s office or some place similar.

Find out where you can schedule 10-15 minutes and allocate those to your passion project, new business, or health goals. This may not sound like much but despise not small beginnings. Trust me, when you commit to those 10-15 minutes and stick with it, you'll discover they often evolve into 30 minutes or more. 

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge! ™
"Coaching in Pjs" ™

Today on @CoachingInPJs™ we’re discussing stress. We all know stress is the number one killer in the world today. Stress can kill your dreams, kill your relationships and can even kill YOU.
 
Think about this for a moment. You're zooming right along in your life. Happy-go-lucky. Everything is honky-dory when suddenly you find yourself thinking about what's on your To Do list, the work stacked on your desk or laundry piled up at home, what so-and-so just said. Pretty soon your emotions are engaged and you're ready to either whip the world, throw in the towel, or curl up in a fetal position until someone comes along and rescues you out of the pit of negativity you’ve just spiraled into. 

How did this happen, you wonder?

It happened when you allowed your mind to start wandering and worrying!
 
Stress Begins in the Mind.

This is why it's important to stay in the present moment and keep those thoughts from lollygagging along on any trajectory they choose.

So, how can you reel yourself in once you're in a state of stress or panic?

*Take a Breath. I’m not talking about a short inhale but a belly-deep, diaphragm-full, from the bottom of your heart and soul breath. When you get to the top and are ready to exhale, close your eyes and say to yourself, “Stop. Just stop.” This will start to quiet the mind and calm the body. Do this as long as you can, or have to, but a minimum of 3 minutes.
 
* Tap and talk your way out. While taking those deep breaths and telling your mind to stop, tap gently on your heart. EFT or tapping is a process that calms the amygdala (the flight, fight or freeze mechanism in the brain) and soothes the body’s nervous system.
 
*Count. We’ve all heard, “before you react or respond, take a deep breath and count to 10.” This is great advice, but I’m challenging you to count backward from 10. Mel Robbins changed her entire life, and helped others change theirs while creating a whole culture of people counting backward from 5 with her “5 second rule.” If 5 seconds works for millions, imagine how counting from 10 to 0 can help you! You may wonder why we’re counting backwards. Well, the brain already knows how to count from 1 to 10 forwards, but backwards is not “normal,” and it interrupts the thought pattern that has been carved into your gray matter from years of negative, stressful thoughts.
 
*Journal. After you’ve pulled yourself up out of that pit you spiraled into, create a vision in your mind about how you want your holidays to be. This can be as simple as a 3x5 index card with, “Every holiday celebration this year is blissful, joyous and harmonious,” written on it. OR let your imagination run wild and write this in your journal with as much detail as you can. Consider where the party/parties will be, what you will serve, who will be there, how much fun it will all be. Even if you believe in this moment that it’s an absolute fantasy, fantasize away! Abraham Hicks calls this pre-paving the way. Neville Goddard calls this the law of assumption or living from the end and in the world of manifestation, visualizing with as much sensory detail you can provide and deep emotion, is key to changing or creating the life you desire.
 
These are the tips, tricks and hacks I shared in my YouTube video but here are a few more you can try…
 
*Organize your tasks at home and at work and prioritize your to-do (and gift) lists. Being on top of things gives us a sense of control as well as pride and joy when things run smoothly and turn out well.
 
*Pray. Remember when the tough gets going, the tough get on their knees. Prayer is a surefire way to bring peace to the mind, heart, soul and body. This can be as simple as inhaling, “peace be still,” and exhaling, “thank you.”
 
*Forgive so-and-so. Forgive Yourself. As a Ho'oponopono practitioner I’ve seen this ancient Hawaiian prayer work wonders in my life and the lives of others.

*Last but not least, remember, your power is in the present moment. In the now.
 
When your thoughts start to wander down the slippery slope of negative memories from past experiences, take control before those judgments become intense emotions that cause the levels of stress hormones in your body to rise, take over your mind and steal your joy.

Something to think about!
"Inspirational with an Edge! ™
"Coaching in Pjs" ™

Good Morning and Welcome to Coaching in PJs!
​
In yesterday's video, I discussed some of the topics we'll delve into on @CoachingInPJs ™ YouTube Channel.

In that, I mentioned that the video content would be here on the blog in print format so here goes...

As a Journal Therapy coach, Professional Writer and Published Author, we'll definitely talk about how writing can enhance every area of your life.

As a Ho'oponopono Practitioner, Meditation Teacher and Spiritual Coach, we'll dive into those areas as well.

But, mostly I'll share with you, all of the coaching tips, tricks and hacks that I've sent to my newsletter subscribers over the past couple of years.

I look forward to visiting with you!

If you have a topic that you'd like to see covered on @CoachingInPJs ™ YouTube Channel, please leave a comment and I'll be happy to accomdate you.

Until next time, take care and God Bless.
PamT